sugar paper

Suburbia

2010-09-14T10:32:00.005+02:00

Took these around Westdene, Sophiatown and Melville.

Garden glory

2010-09-13T08:56:00.005+02:00

I love my garden at this time of the year, early Spring is incredible, all the flowers popping up everywhere, trees slowly turning green, so many divine colours and fragrances. I love to sit and look at the beauty and draw it into myself, it makes me content and gives me a sense of deep pleasure and tranquility.

2010-09-10T11:05:00.000+02:00

Talismans and Amulets

2010-09-08T11:52:00.002+02:00

I don't know why, but I've always been attracted to talismans and amulets. It's not that I believe in them, because I don't, they've never been part of my culture, my reality or my experience. I'm attracted to the idea of them, their appearance, the ritual and prayer that surround them, their essence of magic and mystery, their many layered levels of meaning. I like the idea of being able to protect yourself or influence the outcome of events with ritualistic objects. I want to try make some of my own, and invent my own little magical rituals and symbols....not because I'd expect them to work, but just because the idea of them appeals to me immensely.

2010-09-07T09:38:00.000+02:00

2010-09-07T09:32:00.000+02:00

Suburbia

2010-09-05T15:11:00.004+02:00

Photo's taken from the car today driving around Parkview, Parkhurst, Zoo Lake and Rosebank.

2010-09-03T07:45:00.002+01:00

Woke up feeling quite good today, my mood started to improve last night...I hope things stay this way. Got the lovely weekend and Spring weather to look forward to. Going to my step-sister for dinner tonight. Beautiful scarlet poppies coming up in the garden, but the sweetpeas are raging out of control and will require some weekend work.

I have one very unhappy dog on my hands. He developed a little sore on his back foot which just kept getting worse and worse because he wouldn't stop licking it. So he has now been subject to the indignity of a buster collar, and is walking around looking very sad and sorry for himself.

I can't wait for my knee to be properly healed so I can be fully active again...and then I am SERIOUSLY going to get fit, start pilates and walk a lot. I can't wait to get out this summer, definitely want to do some camping and go out into the country.

2010-09-02T07:25:00.001+01:00

2010-09-01T23:38:00.001+01:00

2010-09-01T16:13:00.001+01:00

Mobility is sweet

2010-09-01T10:22:00.000+01:00

Today has been better than yesterday, ghosts, if not quite laid to rest, than at least religated to the periphery of consciousness. Small, simple pleasures, things usually taken forgranted are sweet once more.

I feel too far away

2010-08-31T15:36:00.001+01:00

Two days

2010-08-28T08:54:00.000+01:00

Suburbia and such

2010-08-25T09:12:00.000+01:00

The arrival of Spring....at last

2010-08-23T08:59:00.000+01:00

2010-01-04T00:15:00.000+02:00

My mother-in-law's scrumptious, decadent, moist and boozy christmas cake........can the holidays really be over?

New boots from NY

2010-01-03T15:01:00.000+02:00

2009-12-22T12:18:00.000+02:00

Some photo's I took in Canada last month - I can't believe I was actually there. It all seems like a beautiful dream now.

2009-12-14T23:40:00.000+02:00

Some recent journal pages....when I packed up all my stuff to put into storage, I included all my art supplies. In the chaos of moving, and planning an overseas holiday I decided to take a break from art and art journalling, but when I moved in with my in-laws I missed the art journalling too much so I went out and bought some basic art supplies.

2009-12-12T14:55:00.000+02:00

Decor store, Stanley Ave, Milpark

2009-12-11T10:17:00.000+02:00

A perfect Summer day today

2009-12-08T23:38:00.000+02:00

There's been a lot of change in my life over the past few months. We sold our house, the new house we were supposed to go to fell through at the last moment and we ended up having to temporarily move in with my in-laws. We decided to do some travelling and because of the timing we didn't want to move into a new house and then leave it empty for a month while we were away - the high crime situation in South Africa makes it risky. So I'm still with the in-laws, we got back from overseas three weeks ago.

My whole life just about I have dreamed of going to New York....and that's just what we finally decided to do, and it was the most incredible, fabulous experience. We stayed in Manhattan for two entire weeks, we rented a little apartment in Chelsea, and afterwards we we went to Canada for two weeks, to Toronto, Montreal and Quebec City. I'll write more about my travels and post some pics in future posts.

I share cooking dinner with my mom-in-law and it's actually quite nice and sociable. While it's obviously better to have your own home and space, I'm finding out that there are benefits to being part of an extended family, especially when they're really nice and you get along with them. As far as in-laws go, I am truly blessed. Sometimes we take turns to make dinner, sometimes we cook together, last night was my turn and I decided to go Indian and did a Balti chicken curry. It came out great, very tasty.

My dog Bandit, who's also staying with us and who lives up to his name. He loves to "help" out in the kitchen waiting for tasty tidbits to fall on the floor. This dog will eat just about anything and there's nothing more he enjoys than a good, strong cup of coffee in the morning. I'm one of those people who can't function in the morning without a cup of coffee - I have to be careful where I put my coffee mug, if I go away for a minute, by the time I get back the coffee will have disappeared except for the giveaway splashes on the table.

.....enjoying the warm Summer days......

2009-12-07T18:00:00.001+02:00

Well it's been suuuuuuuuuuch a long time since I last posted and so much has happened.......mostly great stuff and I'm feeling quite happy these days. I'm planning to start blogging here more regularly.......and just enjoying the excellent Summer weather we're having in Joburg at the moment.

Journal pages

2009-08-09T21:21:00.000+01:00

Sold

2009-08-09T20:51:00.000+01:00

Some random pics around the house - which is now sold. I'm happy about that and also have a bit of trepidation about what the future will hold. We have until the end of August to find another place to live and so far still no luck. If the worst comes to the worst we will have to put all our stuff into storage and move in with my in-laws temporarily. Which actually as far as the worst things happening is far from the worst all things considered, just not an ideal situation. My main worry about living with the in-laws is that our poor cat will end up in the kennels for a while and he hates going there.

Mental meanderings

2009-07-02T20:17:00.000+01:00

I have been a bad blogger, I am finding it harder to write about myself and talk about my life than I thought. And also I am not in the best mental space right now and I don't want to be one of those people that are always complaining about how bad things are and then never get off their butts to do anything about it. Half of my problem I think is that I'm not working full time at the moment and I have too much time on my hands and spend too much time alone during week days. When I have the opportunity to go out and interact with people I feel a lot better.

Anyway the good news is that I am going on holiday down to the ocean tomorrow for a week with my husband and some friends.....and when I get back I REALLY have to sort out my life and my headspace and fucking well move on!!!!! I WILL get out of this rut I'm in, and I WILL find some gainful employment or volunteer for a worthy cause....and I am going to sign up for the Photoshop course I want to do!!!!

2009-06-19T17:14:00.000+01:00

Friday, I'm in love

2009-06-19T15:38:00.000+01:00

Some pages from my art journal....have a great weekend.

Sunday

2009-06-14T17:27:00.000+01:00

Saturday

2009-06-13T16:39:00.000+01:00

This morning we went out for a girls only tea for my sister's birthday. We went to The Westcliff, a really lovely hotel. It was great, wonderful food, but the best part is the amazing view looking over the city. Johannesburg is known as the world's largest man made forest, and you can see from the view all the beautiful trees.

fashion friday

2009-06-12T23:49:00.000+01:00

A quiet day

2009-06-11T14:04:00.000+01:00

66 Third Avenue Kew

2009-06-10T13:24:00.000+01:00

A large part of life is about memory and forgetting. The things you choose to remember, the things you try to forget. Sometimes we remember things the way they really were, sometimes we remember things the way we wish they were, sometimes we remember things the way we think they were. Sometimes the things we try the hardest to forget are the things we remember the most, and sometimes the things we thought we had forgotten weave themselves into our dreams and we awaken to sense distant fragments of pain and the taste of bitter ashes in our mouths.

66 Third Avenue Kew is the house where I grew up. I lived there from 1975 until 1982, from the ages of five to thirteen. It's the place of my happiest childhood memories, and the place where my parents started fighting, got divorced and my whole safe world fell apart. Sometimes I remember the bad stuff, not as much as I used to, but mostly when I remember 66 Third Avenue, the sun is always shining, I'm playing happily in the garden with my little brother, or playing Marco Polo in the swimming pool with my friends, or eating fruit from the beautiful fruit trees we had, plums, nectarines and apricots. In my memory, no fruit is more delicious than those ripe, juicy plums and nectarines we ate on hot Summer days, the juice running down our chins, our fingers sweet and sticky.

Today, I was working for a client in an area right next to my old house, so I decided to take a drive past. I had driven past a couple of years before, so I knew what to expect and that the area had become completely rundown over the passing years. When I lived there it was a typical well kept upper middle class suburb, in my memory how it was, has become a perfect Wisteria Lane, without the secrets and drama's.

I took some photo's, and the grey, dreary weather only served to make the place look even more seedy and desolate.

This was my road. My old house is the second one behind the fence on the right, where youu can just about see a bit of white wall. The area has become a crime hot spot and is now fenced off for security purposes. I wanted to drive past the house but all the roads leading into the suburb are fenced off like this. I ended up driving just about around the whole suburb before I found a small road that was unfenced and managed to make my way to the house.

Electric fences with razor wire behind more razor wire for safety against crime

Desolation row

My old house, 66 Third Avenue Kew. When we lived here, the electronic gate wasn't here and the driveway was open to the road. We didn't have this huge big wall either, there was a small waist high wall separating the garden from the road. Back then it was a safe area to live in, none of the houses had high walls like they do now. We used to ride our bikes with our friends in the road.

This abandoned car service station is just before the security fence in the top photo at the bottom of the road. It belonged to a couple called Bob and Glenda, my parents were friendly with them, they had kids our age and it was a great place to rollerskate and ride bikes over the weekend when it was closed. In those days it was all open and unfenced.

Well, that's the end of my little trip down memory lane. I'll always remember it as it was, and not as it is now.

A day in the life.....

2009-06-09T12:30:00.000+01:00

Today's another cold, grey day over here. Been busy around the house, and trying to sort out my life. I ended up sending an email that I was really uncomfortable with, but I think it had to be done, and I hope I did the right thing. My last employers still owe me two months outstanding salary from Feb and March this year and I am sick of waiting. I wrote a very nice polite email, but basically said if I was forced to take legal action I would. I hate these kinds of horrible, messy situations...but I want the money that I worked for, I didn't work for them for my health or because I wanted to take up an extra hobby to fill my time! Now I sort of feel bad about sending the email, but I don't know what else to do at this stage. It's hard because at one stage I was quite close to the one boss, and got on really well with her. Why do I feel bad about standing up for myself and my rights?

Morning flowers

2009-06-08T17:39:00.000+01:00

It's cold out there, but I'm warm in here

2009-06-08T14:19:00.000+01:00

The lovely balmy Winter weather we've been enjoying over the past two weeks has broken, last night the temperature began to drop and an icy wind started to howl around the house. Today dawned cold and grey and dreary. It's unusual for it to rain this late in the year because Johannesburg is a Summer rainfall region.

Fortunately I work from home, so I'm cozy and warm inside with the gas heater blaring away, and a hot cup of coffee steaming at my elbow.

Sunday

2009-06-07T17:43:00.000+01:00

From the garden

2009-06-06T09:40:00.000+01:00

Aaaah...the weekend.....lovely. Nothing planned, just the way I like it. I hope you have a good one!

The last tomatoes of the season

Someone or something has been enjoying a good munch on the ripe tomatoes. I hope they/it enjoyed it. I'm not bothered because it's the end of the season and we enjoyed a fantastic crop throughout the Summer.

And introducing junior doggie aka big ears, he must have been crossed with a rabbit or a donkey....he is a mischievous handful of joy (mostly)...welcome to a world of being poked by a cold wet nose when he thinks it's time for you to get out of bed in the mornings.

Home is where the heart is

2009-06-05T08:39:00.000+01:00

And introducing.....my dear old doggie aka the love sponge.....as in all I ever want from life are pats and lots of them...like ALL the time.
I've been feeling a bit down lately about having to sell our house, wondering if we are doing the right thing, and then yesterday I was rudely reminded of the reasons for wanting to leave. The suburb I live in is close to Johannesburg's second largest university, and even closer to the city's largest university. Over the past two years, more and more students have begun moving into the area as unscrupulous landlords buy up houses and turn them into overcrowded student communes. We became mildly concerned but hoped that it wouldn't affect property values and neighbourhood standards too badly, and for a while everything seemed to be okay. That is until students moved in next door and across the road. And with students comes student noise. It is such fun to be woken up at 4.00am by car doors slamming, stereos blaring and loud drunken voices. That was from the people across the road, and it happened once a week, or once every two weeks, sort of bearable. Then students moved in next door, and the fun really began.

They seem to live by the following rules:
1. Don't hold a conversation unless you can talk at the top of your voice. Make sure you do this outside so the neighbours can be sure to hear you.
2. Always play the radio at full blast.
3. Have wild parties, but make sure you do so outside in the road so your friends can blast their car stereos. Make sure you leave lots of empty beer bottles, broken glass and food wrappers on the pavement - and for god's sake whatever happens, DON'T clean up the mess.
4. If you are female, make sure you giggle loudly, shriek and scream as soon as the smallest opportunity for doing so presents itself.

When they are outside on their front porch, it sounds like they are sitting right with me inside my study/art room. One guy in particular has this incredibly loud, deep booming voice with a laugh that would put your average chainsaw or angle grinder to shame. Now, they can go for two weeks and you won't hear a peep out of them, that's when you start getting sucked into a false sense of thinking that maybe things aren't so bad after all, and maybe you're being a bit drastic by deciding to move. And then they. come. back. to make your life a misery. And for three days it's wall to wall noise.

Yesterday they started up around mid day and only stopped after my husband asked them to keep it down at 6.30pm. Of course that won't stop them from starting up again as soon as they feel like it. When they start making noise I feel like my sanity, my home, my privacy, my sanctuary from the mad world out there is being invaded and destroyed. My heart rate literally goes up. I get stressed out and become anxious and agitated. I feel so angry at their selfish lack of consideration. I burn with anger and resentment. I start planning nasty schemes in my mind to get back at them....like finding out when they write exams and blasting the loudest, nastiest heavy metal music I can find at the most inconvenient times of the day. I don't like how they make feel and how they make me want to behave.

So, in a way I'm glad they made noise yesterday again after being quite for almost two weeks. It reminded me that we are DEFINITELY doing the right thing by selling up and moving. It sucks but that's the way it is. It'll be a complete mission but that's what happens when you move. Home is where my husband and my pets are. And we'll make a lovely new home somewhere else. I have to say though, it is sooooo damn tempting to exact some revenge on them before we leave, but hopefully I won't stoop to that level!

Money for jam

2009-06-04T06:55:00.000+01:00

Today is another pure blue sky warm Winter day....lovely. My lemon tree is just bursting with it's bright yellow fruit at the moment, so I decided to make some lemon chili marmalade. I looked up a couple of recipe's on the internet to get the general idea of what was involved, and went off to make up my experimental brew. I think the jam turned out quite well. It's very bitter and very sweet at the same time, and the bits of lemon peel are amazingly tangy and fragrant tasting. I used a bit too much chili, it's slightly overpowering, so if I decide to make another batch I'll definitely use less chili.

We got an offer on the house last night - but it was much too low. The realtor will go back to the prospective buyers and see if he can get them to go higher. I also still definitely want to have another show day which is scheduled for the 14th of June. I will be so sad to leave this place, I love my house, but unfortunately there are problems in the area that we are not happy about, so move we must. I just wish I could conjour up a magic spell and move the house somewhere else.

Perfect sky day

2009-06-03T09:40:00.000+01:00

Today is the most beautiful Winter's day, pure, powerfully blue skies, warm outside in the sun. I took a few photo's around the house. I am feeling good, quite positive, and better than I've felt in a while.

Flowers in the kitchen

Bedside table in the guest bedroom

Close up of the flowers, I adore Barberton daisies - I think they might have another name but that's what we call them in South Africa

This vintage doll sits on a chair in the guest room. She belonged to my late granny, I'm not sure why but she was very special to my granny. She is one of my possessions that has a lot of sentimental value. Whenever I see her she reminds me of my granny.

On the wall in the guest room

This is a section of the bookshelf in a little room in the front of the house. It's a tiny room with one wall floor to ceiling bookshelves. We basically use the room as a storage place for my husbands bicycles and cycling equipment.

The guest bathroom

Close up of a pink crystal perfume bottle in the guest bathroom. It was a gift from my mom.

Flowers in the entrance vestibule

Giraffe wood carving in the entrance vestibule

Close up of a section of an African mobile from the Democratic Republic of Congo. It was a gift from my sister-in-law. She's a photographer and travels widely around the continent.

Beaded mobile on my front porch. This gives you an example of a typical Winter sky in Johannesburg

View of the city skyline from my front porch.

I'm so happy, I just got a call from my best friend. She moved away about a month ago, and I have really missed her, we used to talk every day and see each other just about every second day, because we both freelance, we used to hook up here and there, an hour for lunch, a Friday afternoon drink etc. Of all the towns, in all the places, in all the countries she could possibly have gone to, she's moved to Port Harcourt in Nigeria! She got an amazing job, heading up a new African continent wide pay for TV cable station. She's also been appointed a United Nations ambassador, and she'll be away for three years.

I'm trying to sort out my damn taxes today, I sooooooo HATE official paperwork of any kind.....well back to the paper nightmare I go.......At least when it's done it'll be off my back:)

Home sweet home

2009-06-02T09:02:00.000+01:00

Some corners of my home:

The spare room

Millie and Amelia

I got this Japanese doll on my last trip to Australia, I know there's a particular name for these dolls but I can't for the life of me think what it is at the moment.

I love this colourful embroidered doll from an amazing market called the Old Biscuit Mill in Cape Town when I was there on holiday earlier this year.
I have had this awful strain of flu that's been going around at the moment and spent the last week trying to rest in between madly getting my house ready for it's first show day on Sunday this past weekend. In the end the house really looked lovely if I do say so myself. Looking around my house with everything spic and span, I tried to come up with a description of my very eclectic decorating style, and the best I could come up with was "Eclectic African retro with a smidgen of kitch and a dash of Scandinavian country". It sounds pretty horrible, but in some weird way it works. I'll take some more pictures to post.

The first show day went fairly well, I think. The housing market is obviously depressed at the moment, but the realtor said that he reckons the house will sell faster than we thought, and that we'll get close to our desired price. The good thing is that we are not in a position where we are in a hurry to sell. Our next show day is in two weeks time, but the realtor is also bringing people round by appointment in between. So we'll see what happens!

Lost and Found

2009-05-25T12:59:00.000+01:00

Still cold

2009-05-21T13:25:00.001+01:00

Cccccold

2009-05-18T01:06:00.000+01:00

Right now it's 4 degrees C with a wind chill factor of -1 and it's FREEZING outside. This is probably nothing for people in the northern hemisphere, but for someone in South Africa this might as well be Antarctica as far as I'm concerned. And we don't even have the fun of snow to go with it. That is assuming snow is as nice as it looks for someone who has never lived in it. I'm not complaining though, for now, I'm actually enjoying the cold weather. It's a wonderful feeling to be snug and cozy inside with the wind howling and blasting around the house in the deep dark night. I can't express how grateful I feel to have this luxury in a country where there is so much poverty and there are millions of people living in flimsy shacks in slums. Every night when I go to bed I think about how lucky I am to be crawling under a feather duvet with a strong roof over my head.

Today I have the winter sun in my soul

2009-05-15T11:28:00.000+01:00

Took these two pics this morning. The bottom one is a vintage monchichi that I've had since the eighties and I still love it and find it adorably cute.

Today is a beautiful typical Winter's day, clear and sunny with a perfect blue sky, slightly chilly when the wind blows, but quite nice and warm in the sun if you're wearing a warm jersey.

I feel quite good today, more relaxed and less anxious than yesterday.

I have turned to shadow and stone

2009-05-14T13:07:00.000+01:00

In the book "eat pray love", the author is with a friend discussing the single words that conjure up the essence of a city. They conclude the word for Rome is Sex, the word for Sweden is Conform, and for New York it is Achieve. They go on to to find the single word that would describe their families, and then the word that is the essence of themselves. This got me thinking about the single word that is the essence of myself, and what I came up with is Doubt.

My entire life, since I can remember I have doubted myself and my abilities. Over the years I have doubted myself so much that I have ceased to live, I merely exist in a twilight world, fearing everything, hiding away and unable to make important decisions. I am trying to embark on a journey of self-discovery, trying to lose my doubts, and find an inner core of certainty and self-confidence. I know it won't be easy, but I can't afford not to do it. I have drifted with the wind for far too long.

(Picture credits: 1-5: via Tatielle; 6-12: via Sabino)

I am hanging in

2009-05-13T22:46:00.000+01:00

I took some photo's in the garden today, the deep still shadows of the greenery reflect the winter season. It feels quiet and a little bit solitary, a little bit sad. I didn't get too much done, but I kept my day clear so I wouldn't have to expend any energy. I needed to have still, quiet time. I read quite a lot. I'm busy reading "Eat, pray, love", finally, I've been wanting to read it for a long time. So far I am enjoying it, but it's not as brilliant as I thought it would be, I suppose after all the hype surrounding this book, it would have been difficult for it to live up to my expectations, but perhaps I'll change my mind once I've read the whole book.

In the evening I went to my photography class, it was the final class of a five week course I've been doing. I'm a little sad that it's over, but once I've had some time to practice and absorb everything I've learned so far I'll sign up for another more advanced class. Learning photography has been a dream of mine since I was in school, but somehow or another I never got around to doing anything about it before. I feel really really good about doing the class because I finally did something about making this dream come true. I also feel a bit anxious about it, because there's so much that still needs to sink in, but I need not to loose myself in fear, and to keep on practising.